Hard. For all the obvious reasons, but also for some less obvious reasons. As far as food goes, the first three days in particular were very hard. The way we eat becomes such a habit. For example: I always take a spoonful of whatever I’m dishing up for the kids as I am preparing their plates. I can’t tell you how many times I reached for the spoon and had to stop myself. I also often nibble on their leftovers, grab a little of whatever they are snacking on or even just lick my fingers. I have caught myself several times almost doing one of the before mentioned habits, which are bad habits anyway, so I suppose one could say that one of the many benefits of fasting is to rid yourself of some less desirable habits.
Anyhow, it also took me a while to learn appreciate the food. We are not using any salt, pepper or any seasoning and really focusing on enjoying the food the way God designed it. Even though Billy and I have been consistently working towards a whole foods diet, I still found it difficult, at first, to enjoy the “plain-ness” of the food. It’s growing on me though.
The real hard, however, has been the change God is working on in me. I am just so overcome with gratitude!!!! I am so grateful that I have a choice every day about what I can eat. I am so grateful that I only am going to be eating this diet for 40 days. But beyond that, I am so grateful for everything!!!!! I have clothes, and a cozy little home, three adorable little children who give my life so much meaning and purpose, a husband who is beyond words, I have so much! I am also so humbled by all that I have. I don’t know how often I, at best, don’t think about all my blessings, or at worst, feel entitled to them. It is so very humbling to realize how rich I am. Mark 10:25 says: “It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God.” Honestly, until this fast, I never thought of myself as rich.
2 Corinthians 8:13-15 says: “Our desire is not that others might be relieved while you are hard pressed, but that there might be equality. At the present time your plenty will supply what they need, so that in turn their plenty will supply what you need. The goal is equality, as it is written: “The one who gathered much did not have too much, and the one who gathered little did not have too little.” To some Christ gives an abundance, to some He gives less, it is up to us to sort it out. That’s not without reason! There are lessons to be learned for both giving and receiving, the problem has always been that those of us with plenty do not give enough to those with less. And, lets be honest, for the average middle class family (like us), we work hard to make every dollar stretch as it is already! And the hunger of the poor seems like such a HUGE problem, way too huge to actually do something about. That is why I am so thankful for this fast. So thankful. At the end, we will be able to give and I am so happy to have that opportunity.
So yes, fasting is hard. But the food hard has been minimal in comparison to the humbling of my heart and spirit.
at the Rueter's table 